A Victory For Free Speech, And Hilarity

Most legal decisions don’t begin with the words “Tucker Max describes himself as an aspiring celebrity ‘drunk’ and ‘asshole,’” — well, at least not since Marbury v. Madison’s similar opening — but then again most lawsuits aren’t as hilarious as this. On Friday, right about when I packed it in for the long weekend, the lawsuit filed by Anthony DiMeo against Tucker Max was dismissed.

Anthony DiMeo was suing Tucker Max (that’s him in the photo, with Morimoto) because of mean things said by forum members about DiMeo on Tucker’s eponymous website, and he’s now received a legal smackdown from the judge in a fairly entertaining decision that not only contains a reference to a Philadelphia Weekly article — you’ll be possibly read over in law schools for years, Cassidy! — but has references to names like ‘Jerkoff’ and ‘footinmouth.’

Max, on his website, writes:

The judge’s decision is awesome. … The best part is the last quote, it is fucking awesome:

“Here we do so by protecting the coarse conversation that, it appears, never ends on tuckermax.com”

Well, that or the part where a FEDERAL JUDGE quotes someone from my board using the phrase, “getting fisted by an angry gorilla” and “mold your face to what you think you would look like if a leper were about to take a shit in your mouth.” Best. Legal. Decision. Ever.

If I ever become president — and if I do ever run for office, all anyone needs to do to derail my campaign is quote from any random selected post on this website — I would propose a law that requires all court decisions to contain the phrase “fisted by an angry gorilla.”

This isn’t really surprising, though. After all, DiMeo’s lawyer for this case was a man who had this on his website:

A true “Lawyer’s Lawyer”, Matthew is proud and flattered by continuously receiving referrals and praise from unaffiliated attorneys (even suprisingly from those who were once his opposing counsel).

You might think the fun might be over. No more DiMeo randomly threatening to sue any independent blogger who happens to report on a disastrous party he has or says things about him other than “Anthony DiMeo is awesome and throws the best parties!” You might think that this decision has affirmed that the Internet is a place where people who are, say, blueberry heirs can’t simply use their money to threaten to squelch any criticism of them. You, of course, would be wrong. According to our buddy Daniel Rubin, DiMeo is planning on appealing:

Tucker Max should not only expect a possible appeal to this one judges decision, but select members of his TuckerMax.com following should expect individual lawsuits to be filed against them for the countless false, inaccurate and misleading statements they have clearly posted on Mr. Max’s web site. Without a doubt, these type of legal battles are very, very costly… but, to me, it’s most certainly worth it to make people like Tucker Max pay for their wrongful actions. Tucker Max demeans women and promotes character assassinations; and this is something we must not allow in our society.

Apparently, the fun just won’t stop. Although I’m glad DiMeo has attempted to jump on the “Tucker Max demeans women” bandwagon, even though that wasn’t, exactly, what he was suing him for. I’m not quite sure it’ll work. I mean, could there be anything more demeaning than being a model for DiMeo’s PR firm?

TUCKER WINS!!! DIMEO LOSES!!! [Tucker Max Blog]
Matthew B. Weisberg [PPWLaw.com]
April 5: DiMeo v. Max, The Lawsuit — And The Party!