Quickies: Lose Weight Now, Ask Me How

• Shawn Andrews wants to lose some weight, being that he weighs approximately 750 pounds. That’s all well and good, but what if he loses weight, improves his life expectancy but becomes a less effective offensive lineman in the process? Come on, you were thinking it, too. [Daily News]

• Former Eagles coach Jim Trimble died today at the age of 87. He coached in the 50s — when the team was at one point quarterbacked by Philly the Heroic War Dog — and actually compiled a winning record, so he must’ve been doing something right. [AP/ESPN.com]

• There was a fire at West Philadelphia High this morning, which forced classes to be moved to another building. It didn’t affect things much, since seniors had an off-school grounds event, juniors were just picking up tickets for the prom and nobody goes to school anymore in this city anyway. [Inquirer]

• For now, double entendre headlines like these aren’t going to get old. We’ll check back in a few months. [NBC 10]