Retired Lumberjacks Demand Lower Gas Prices

Thoughts that came to me while reading this in today’s Metro, in order:

1. Is that old guy trying to fight me?
2. Y’know, he looks pretty good for 65. Especially since he’s a retired lumberjack. I’d have to imagine they have a pretty hard job that takes a toll on the body.
3. Okay, he looks pretty good for 65 — besides his teeth.
4. Wait, how many lumberjacks are there in Philadelphia? What the hell is a lumberjack, anyway?
5. And how does one come at a number like “18 percent”? And then change it to 25?
6. Those other answers are kind of funny, too. Don’t gas taxes already go to government-funded programs? Obviously, these programs are probably bloated and such, but still. And weren’t we all complaining ridiculously about gas at $2 instead of a buck? I don’t think that’d be much better, either.
7. But, yeah, gas should be like a buck a gallon. I’d totally be able to afford to drive then.

Metro