Wagering Dollars To Apples

I’m never quite sure what the attraction in bank robbing is anymore. Back in the 19th century, you could rustle up to the local bank, steal some cash with your six-shooter and spend your cash undetected until John Wayne caught you — provided he wasn’t portraying Genghis Khan at the time.

But now, there’s cameras, tagged money, tracking devices placed in bags and cops everywhere(ish) that can easily catch you. I’m sure people get away with bank robberies in America, but the risk/reward ratio just seems too great. You’re better off playing “red” in roulette, or getting your crime spree fix playing Grand Theft Auto. Or, you know, go into business.

Bank robberies are just too dangerous. Take yesterday, for instance. A robber robbed a bank in Northeast Philly, only to be caught a short time later in North Philly due to a tracking device. Same with another guy, who robbed a bank and hopped on a SEPTA bus… which, obviously, was pulled over a few blocks later. (One man did get away with a thousand bucks.)

The highlight of that first robbery in the Northeast was that the robber said he had a toxic chemical and he’d spill it all over if he didn’t get his cash. He got the cash, but the substance turned out to be apple juice.

Now, if it were prune juice, that’d be a toxic chemical.

Juiced up, he squeezes 6G from bank [Daily News]
The Conqueror [Registan.net]