Essay: Cutest essay ever!

Today’s essay is all about cuteness, specifically a New York Times article about it. Even if you don’t usually read these things, there are cute photos after the jump, so you should totally click through. I’ll probably stop doing these annoying intros for my next essay, and just start having the first two paragraphs or so before the jump and let everything speak for itself.

Anyway, for now, cuteness in words and photos, after the jump.

I like puppies.

This will not come as any surprise to regular readers of this website, or any of my friends, of course. When I pass puppies (or any doggies, really) on the street, I usually “aww” or make an attempt to pet them if they seem friendly. I routinely browse the puppy tag on Flickr for more puppy photos to add to my favorites.

I don’t really know why I like puppies, though. Sure, they’re cute and all, but I’ve never had a puppy, I’ve known a lot of annoying dogs in my life and I really don’t want to get a puppy right now — too much responsibility, too much money, too much shit to clean up (literally).

But puppies are cute! And so I like the idea of having a puppy and the idea of playing the puppies and having a puppy hop onto my lap and fall asleep on it. (Aww!) It’s not just puppies, though: I like kittens, red pandas, babies, the panda cub at the National Zoo, little bunnies, etc. All cute things. Even stuffed toys are pretty cute.

One thing I’ve always thought is this cuteness obsession stems from repression of my love of cute things during my formative years; guys weren’t exactly supposed to talk about how much they liked little puppies romping around in the snow. (Aww! So cute!) And, still, when I instant message people with photos of cute puppies, it’s usually a girl. I don’t know how true this is, though, but it’s an idea.

There’s an article in the New York Times science section today that asks why we humans think things are so cute. A quick summary: 2005 was a very cute year, with Butterstick the panda cub, March of the Penguins, even Miss Beazley, the Bush family’s new puppy and one Philadelphia blogger who has a certain obsession with all things puppy-related. (Okay, they didn’t mention that last one, inexplicably. They did mention sales numbers for cute cars Toyota Prius and VW Beetle. Grr.)

The article went on to say that the bar for human cuteness is set rather low — even emoticons like :-) are deemed cute, and my ex girlfriends will agree with me there,I think — as humans find anything resembling a human baby kind of cute. The other cuteness criteria: big bright eyes, round faces, floppy limbs, round ears and a teeter-totter gait. Basically, something that looks helpless. This all makes evolutionary sense, I suppose: we’re predisposed to help things in need. (This, of course, is cute in itself.)

The problem, though, according to a researcher from New Zealand, is cute things can make we humans suspect, since it comes so naturally. We feel like we’re being manipulated. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about a cute puppy, but I understand how it could work. The rest of the article is about why human babies are cute, how kids respond to anti-smoking messages with cute spokespeople more-so than ones without and why penguins and pandas are black and white.

Yeah, yeah. Evolution and all, that’s why I like puppies. But I don’t like all puppies. I don’t understand how people can like some of those little furballs that win dog shows. Dogs with annoying pointy ears are usually pretty ugly. (I don’t like Boston terriers, but the one my neighbor had was pretty cute the one time I saw him. So maybe I do like all puppies.)

Whatever the reason for our liking of cute things, I’m all for it. Puppies! Kittens! Pandas, giant and red! Bunnies! Babies! They all are cute, and they make us happy. And sometimes you just need to take a look at something cute, be all mushy inside and feel good about yourself.

Aww.