A Craigslist Hallmark Hipster Moment

I saw this post about hipsters on Craigslist in the morning and decided it started off okay, but then got silly by the end. In a way, it was like one of my own jokes. And I can’t show anyone that they’re not that hard to write. So I decided against linking it.

But then I got a bunch of people emailing it to me. No, really. More email than I’ve gotten on any other random topic people emailed me about. And that means it has to be linked, if only because of

An excerpt:

Between the women’s jeans they were wearing, and the foul stentch of body oder and insense wafting from the window, I knew these were not your everyday poser hipsters. They were super hipsters! They must be Hipster Leaders (H.L.) I thought! How exciting! I’d heard of the hipster leaders but knew they only surfaced for very special reasons - like blow-out cigarette sales or that one day a year you’re allowed to put out couches and big items on the curb for the trash. While pondering what could possibly have brought out the infamous H.L.s, I heard a shrill and piercing scream come from further down second street.

Jesus, I thought! What was that? A feral cat? Did a litle girl get hit by a bus? Concerned, I rushed that way and then I saw them! What the hell?! A group of skinny young girls was walking down the middle of Second St. and the leader was screaming at the top of her lungs. Wait, wait a minute. Those aren’t girls, they’re fully-grown hipsters wearing womens’ clothing. At that minute, a group of at least 25 hipsters poured out of the Standard Tap.

The two hipster gangs met at 2nd and Poplar and faced off. I heard whispers. It seems that the Fishtown Hipsters were sick of taking second billing to the N. Libs Hipsters and were making a stand. In a loud yet odly high-pitched voice, the leader of the Fishtown Hipsters said, “Today brothers we fight for Fishtown and for Johnny Brenda’s. I’m wearing size zero petite jeans and I’ve never in my life showered more than once a month! This proves we are the most EMO hipsters alive!!!!!”

And it goes on like that. The rest of it’s over at CL. Have fun!

Disclaimer: I had a hand in the hipster issue of PW. I don’t know how that reflects on this post.

Well it happened again - more hipster violence [CL Philly]