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 With a last name like “McQuade,” it’s no surprise that I’m really excited about a coming event I got a press release for today. David Lynn, the webmaster of FreePoliticalSpeech.com, is dressing as a priest and handing out condoms at the Basilica on Sunday morning.
“In addition, the grand jury’s report makes clear that even priests are not always honest about their sex lives,” Lynn was quoted in the press release. “People who might have sex with their priests need to understand this, and practice safe sex with their clergy — you never know where their hands have been.”
Eh, you know, there’s nothing like a good publicity stunt. And there’s really nothing like a good publicity stunt that will piss off a bunch of old Catholics minding their own business and going to church. (I’ve seen a lot of angry old Catholics in my life, and it’s a fun sight.) But calling for safe priest-lay people relations? Now there’s one I haven’t heard before.
Oh, and kiddies: sadly, this free condom hand out is for adults only. But Lynn doesn’t specify if you have to be Catholic! (Or if you have to be looking for a relationship with a priest.) So if you’re a human adult and looking to get your groove on, hey, here’s a chance for some free protection.
Full release after the jump.
For Immediate Release: December 8, 2005
Contact: David Lynn, Webmaster, FreePoliticalSpeech.Com
Email: Webmaster@FreePoliticalSpeech.Com
Condoms To Be Distributed At Cathedral Basilica Of St. Peter And St. Paul Before High Mass
Condoms will be distributed to adult parishioners of the Cathedral Basilica of St. Peter and St. Paul in Philadelphia, PA before High Mass on December 11, 2005, it was announced today.
David Lynn, Webmaster, FreePoliticalSpeech.Com, will distribute condoms to adult parishioners at Sister Cities Park, across the street from the Cathedral. Lynn, who will be dressed as a priest, will be distributing condoms in order to spotlight the recent child abuse scandal in the Catholic Church.
“The lay-Catholic stance of ‘we love our faith, but we disapprove of our bishops’ actions’ is untenable at best,” said Lynn. “Every time parishioners go to worship in a Catholic Church or give money, they are supporting the bishops’ ability to shelter pedophiles, play legal hardball against survivors, and bash homosexuals. They need to realize this, and the sooner the better.”
“In addition, the grand jury’s report makes clear that even priests are not always honest about their sex lives,” said Lynn. “People who might have sex with their priests need to understand this, and practice safe sex with their clergy — you never know where their hands have been.”
Condom distribution will take place from 10:00 am - 11:00 am before the 11:00 am High Mass at Cathedral Basilica of SS. Peter and Paul, 18th & Benjamin Franklin Parkway (opposite Logan Circle), Philadelphia, PA 19103 for adult parishioners only.
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Sounds like a unique idea, but more useful given to junior or high school students, where the positive results would be astronomically greater.
A great wrapper for the condoms would read:
“SNAP this on, and lure a priest.
Sure bet results your wealth will increase.
Point your finger at a priest,(old and
doddering).
Better than taking a chance on the Lottery.”
No doubt he’ll be blessed by cardinal William Levada, prefect of the Congregation of the Faith:
“Eleven years ago, Levada, then the archbishop of Portland, tendered a logical, rational response as to why his archdiocese should not be liable to pay child support for a kid fathered by a seminarian in the Holy Redeemer parish.
The foolhardy mother, Levada’s minions argued in a court brief, had participated “in unprotected intercourse . . . when (she) should have known that could result in pregnancy.”
http://tinyurl.com/8njyq
Isn’t bigotry a blast?
First, what do condoms have to do with the “pedophilia” (read “homosexual ephebophilia”) crisis?
Second, do some word replacement here: “David Lynn, the webmaster of FreePoliticalSpeech.com, is dressing as a rabbi and handing out “Holocaust denial” tracts at the synagogue on Saturday morning.” After all, “there’s really nothing like a good publicity stunt that will piss off a bunch of old Jews minding their own business and going to synagogue. (I’ve seen a lot of angry old Jews in my life, and it’s a fun sight.)!”
Which one is “hate speech” deserving of imprisonment, being called “fascist hater,” and having the ADL and FBI have files on you, and which is kewl — the Catholic-bashing or the Jew-bashing?
Hey Dude, bad boy, not donut! I forgive all SNAPSTERS! I love street theatre! David, you know that those filthy bishops, priests, nuns and their supporters are totally screwed up. Still, I was tickled to read about your show in front of the brick building with a cross. I’m on the floor!!!!!!!!
Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder what the catholics will say about Brokeback Mountain? Mens on mens, postcard dates, fishing trips, a spooky bear, and pretty hills; where is Nancy Grace to splain how come 2 mens that like all the cool stuff are gay? At least they didn’t have to drive their trucks off a cliff like Thelma & Louise. I guess Ang had to take out Jack for getting poked by Ennis, queers can have fun, but not that much! It even made sore just watching! Ate my popcorn twice as fast……Hmmmmmmmm….am I one to? Happy Happy Joy Joy to you David. Best, cholo!
David, please let me know when your traveling Medicine Show comes to San Francisco. I would love to join you. Is you street protest cool or what? Incidentally, Rabbi’s sexually abuse children to. Go to Google, type in rabbi sexual molesters and all kinds of info pops up! Hooray! Not to forget that nasty conservative Rabbi David Kaye! Happy Happy Joy Joy.
David, please let me know when your traveling Medicine Show comes to San Francisco. I would love to join you. Is you street protest cool or what? Incidentally, Rabbi’s sexually abuse children to. Go to Google, type in rabbi sexual molesters and all kinds of info pops up! Hooray! Not to forget that nasty conservative Rabbi David Kaye! Happy Happy Joy Joy.
Mr. McQuaid - you really opened up the manhole cover to the sewer judging by some of the comments you have received. Hope those responders never get on a jury, as with their attitude they would crucify Christ all over again.
Hi Sandy…what’s a manhole cover? What is Christ? Anyway, the scene I LOVED the very best is when the spooky bear chases
Ennis. Oh…I thought that I would just die! But, he was saved at the last minute and got up and ran off and made love to Jack!
I guess I was just too silly. Sandy, were you sore too on your bottom after the hot scene in the tent? For some reason, I just held my breath and cried for more. Happy Happy Joy Joy for Sandy….hooray! Signed, cholo…your friend in jepus
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