I’m voting for Bo Jackson

Metro asks, people respond:

Ooh, I like this game! Okay, would you vote for Terry Bradshaw? What about Nicole Richie? Mean Joe Greene? Tara Reid? Terrell Owens? O.J. Simpson?

Editor’s Note: Oh yeah. It’s “Lynn Swann.”

U.S. Editions [Metro]

Today’s back page Daily News headline

Taken with a camera phone so you know I’m not making it up or doing any Photoshop tricks.

Bean Stringfellow!

The opening paragraph of Paul Hagen’s Billy Wagner-to-the Mets story in the Daily News:

The Phillies had a 4 o’clock phone call scheduled with Billy Wagner’s agent, Bean Stringfellow. At that time, they had planned to increase their offer to the free-agent closer.

Woah, woah, woah. Billy Wagner’s agent’s name is Bean Stringfellow? Bean Stringfellow! Ha!

What? It’s funny. Trust me.

Wagner makes move to Mets for more money, longer deal [DN]

This can only mean good things

Surprisingly, this isn’t a proposal by President Bush.

Spending will rise, but taxes will not [Doylestown Intelligencer]

The best driver in Bucks County

From the Bucks County Courier Times crime log, some criminal mischief in Upper Southampton (emphasis mine):

600 block Kutcher Rd., overnight, Fri, vehicle filled with leaves, decorative scarecrow placed in driver’s seat, leaves on top of vehicle, profanity on passenger side window.

What? Sometimes when scarecrows drive they track leaves in the car. Ain’t nothin’ criminal ’bout it.

Public safety log 11.29.05 [BCCT]

Hansel, Gretel and Billy Penn

As part of an attempt to draw tourists to Center City, they’re making City Hall look like this starting tomorrow:

Apprently, the city’s trying to capitalize on that lucrative gingerbread house tourist market. Let’s hope people don’t try to take bites out of the facade.

This holiday, see City Hall in a new light [Inky]
Photo via Early Word

Magic Touchdown Pass Theory

Just when you thought the Terrell Owens saga was finally over, a new challenger enters the fray and mucks everything up once again. (Why wasn’t there this much debate when Tampa Bay did the same thing to Keyshawn Johnson a few years back? But I digress.)

Anywho, none other than Sen. Arlen Specter, who I think was in Congress with Henry Clay, said yesterday that the Eagles may have violated antitrust regulations by not allowing Terrell Owens to play for the team anymore.

Legal experts the Inquirer talked to said, uhh, no, but hey, Arlen Specter’s wacky theories have been proven right before. Not that the Eagles aren’t being really vindictive. (Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said on a radio show that T.O. is a player he might like to have on his team, and the Eagles filed a complaint saying that was tampering.)

The whole situation is just kind of ridiculous, as you’ve probably all guessed by now. At this point, it wouldn’t be surprising if the Eagles ran the table and won the Super Bowl on a last second Hail Mary pass that bounced off a defensive back’s helmet, off a wide receiver’s foot, through a referee’s hat, off a bird (perhaps an eagle) that was flying by the play and into the arms of Billy McMullen for the game-winning touchdown. Man, that’d rock.

Sparks from Specter in the T.O. case [Inky]

Blogicized: Better than a bottle full of bub’

• Pontiac Grille to drop live music? A rumor, but one that’s so strange I’m sure it’s true. I mean, a music bar without live music? That’s gold! [Philebrity]

• Will Bunch answers the call: Bashing Byko for his incoherent column. Geeze, I didn’t really expect it’d come from a co-worker of his. Still, awesome. [Attytood]

• A Pennsylvania congressman was injured in Iraq. Uh, no, he wasn’t serving in the war. These people vote death sentences, they don’t actually carry them out. Wow, that was cynical even for me. [A Smoke Filled Room]

• The study on the Center City parking’s long-awaited conclusion? We need more discussion. Oh, why am I not surprised. [Changing Skyline]

• 50 Cent’s making a 50 Cent-branded vibrator. Come and get it, ladies! [Pesky'Apostrophe]

• In other news, it’s ridiculously warm today. What the eff is with this city and weather? I’m sweating like Billy Hahn here! [Philadelphia Weather]

Lincoln Financial Funeral

You know, what is it about people? Why do they say, “When I die, spread my ashes on the field of a two year old football stadium“?

The son of a Philadelphia Eagles fan is under arrest for carrying out a very unusual tribute to his late mother on the gridiron at Lincoln Financial Field during the Eagles game versus the Packers.
Police say 44-year-old Christopher Noteboom of Tempe, Arizona was finally arrested near the 30-yard line.

Noteboom ran onto the field and spread a substance he said were his mother’s ashes. She was a Doylestown native who died in January 2005, just before the Eagles went to the Super Bowl.

After a substance was emptied from the bag Noteboom was carrying, he performed a sign of the cross and then dove face first onto the field.

Holy shit. I really can’t add anything to this. I really can’t. Just let the story sink in and maybe you can come up with something.

A friend sends along a note: “What if you accidentally ate some after being tackled there? Gross!” Which is not something I’d ever think of. But it’s quite the conundrum.

Man’s Bizarre Tribute to Mom [6 ABC]

More lies from the liberal media

Oh please. Everyone knows lords a-leaping are dirt fucking cheap.

Cost for ”12 Days of Christmas” Gifts Climbs to $72,600 [KYW 1060]