Wait a minute, Mr. Postman

Hey kids! Don’t like your mailman? Well, you can correct that by beating him to a bloody pulp! Indeed, a mail carrier in Hamilton, N.J., was beaten severely by a man who didn’t like the way he put mail in his mailbox.

Now, there’s not really much a mailman can do to screw up delivering mail except for being late. I guess he could crumple up all the birthday cards you’re getting or something, but that seems unlikely. No, the manner in which a mailman — and, yes, we’re using masculine preference in this blog post because the phrase “letter carrier” is effing stupid, sorry — delivers mail is really not something I could ever forsee anyone complaining about.

But Anthony Vega-Lopez, of Trenton — he attacked the mailman right on the Hamilton-Trenton border — didn’t like that the mailman didn’t properly close the door to his mailbox.

Residents, though, are worried — but not so much about the crazy neighbor:

“Nobody is going to want to deliver mail here anymore,” said a witness.

It’s good to know we’re all about what’s important.

Letter carrier attacked on route [Trenton Times]
Postman attacked [Trentonian]