Liveblogging: T.O. press conference

More news: Sal Paolantonio says the Eagles aren’t going to take him back on the team, and that’s that. “We just want to get rid of him,” Sal quotes an anonymous source in the front office.

Update: Presser is done. T.O. came out and read a very nice statement, and this T.O.’s agent Drew Rosenhaus went nuts afterward and blamed everyone but T.O. for how this situation went. He also wouldn’t take any real questions. It was, essentially, a movie press conference — which is probably a fitting end.

I’ve been thinking that I’ve been too hard on Terrell Owens. No, I mean, he’s obviously at fault in the situation, but is what he did really wrong? Well, yes. But Andy Reid and Hugh Douglas and probably Freddie Mitchell should share some of the blame, too.

But, uhm, I’ve blamed them, too, if assigning blame over a football team’s poor performance is something I like to do — I guess it is. But today I received this e-mail. I’d assume it was T.O. himself, but we all know he types without vowels: “THE PHILLY PEOPLE ALWAYS KILL THEIR PLAYERS AND TO IS NO DIFFERENT. WHITE PEOPLE IN THAT AREA ARE ABSOLUTLET CRAZY WITH PREJIDUICE AND A LOT OF BS. IF TO GOES TO ATLANTA, PHILLY WILL NEVER WIN ANYTHING. WHAT YOU PEOPLE NEED IS A KATRINA OR THE AWESOME POWER THAT JUST HIT KENTUCKY AND INDIANA TO GET YOU BACK TO REALITY AND OUT OF YOUR PREJIDUICE WAYS. TO DID NOT SAY ANYTHING. THE CLASSLESS PREJIDUICE PHILLY MANAGEMENT IS JUST LIKE THE S PHILLY MOB THAT OPERATES IN A UNSEEN MANNER.”

It went on like that, too. But, you know, maybe we need to listen to Owens. I’m certainly not going to risk having a hurricane hitting Philadelphia because a football team’s management didn’t get along with its star player and I didn’t listen to said player! And so, it’s time to liveblog Terrell Owens’ press conference at 3 p.m. today.

Yes, it’s the writing that’s been called “incomprehensible and unreadable” by some dude and “comprehensible” by Johnny Goodtimes! After the jump, the T.O. presser, live from my living room from Comcast SportsNet from Moorestown, N.J.

Before you start, a word: The things in quotes are at first from T.O., and then later from his agent, Drew Rosenhaus. Any other quotes in the should have who said it in the text.

2:50 - Yeah, nothing yet. We (the world) are just waiting.

2:54 - Hey, beach volleyball! And those two girls from the Athens Olympics (Kerri Walsh and Misty May) won! What a shocker!

2:59 - First look at 40 Landing Ct., Moorestown, N.J. There are approximately 450 media people there. Apparently this Comcast SportsNet broadcast is going to all the other affiliates, too — L.A. Sacramento, Chicago, Baltimore/Washington.

3:00 - Neil Hartman is on the scene. He says there’s 20 cameras there. T.O. is going to read a statement, and his agent is going to take questions. And it’s delayed 10 minutes.

3:01 - Barkann compares T.O.’s house to Lourdes. Hartman: “Philadelphia is well-attended here… it’s a big story.” He’s trying to make it seem that it’s important to cover. Neil, Neil, we all love this T.O. craziness. You don’t have justify it to us.

3:03 - James McDevitt, the pizza delivery boy who wouldn’t accept T.O.’s tip, is interviewed.

3:04 - And T.O. is about to come out!

3:05 - “It really hurts me to not be a part of the team anymore…. I fought hard to prove the world wrong [in getting ready for last year's Super Bowl].” T.O. then says he has “weakness.” He apologizes to the fans. Oh, shit, this is a good statement so far. I’m in shock. He’s apologizing to some of his teammates. He “would like to reiterate his respect for Donovan McNabb… “[I] owe Andy Reid an apology…. we had a lot of wins together and I thank you for that.”

3:06 - Now he’s apologizing to everyone, even Joe Banner and Jeffrey Lurie. Drew Rosenhaus is now taking questions and is ruining the goodwill already.

3:07 - Drew Rosenhaus is yelling. “He’s a great person!”

3:08 - Great question to Drew: “Do you think you have him bad advice?” He doesn’t answer it. He’s still yelling. “T.O. has received a lot of criticism, I believe unfairly.” He says it’s not Owens’ fault people didn’t accept his apology.

3:09 - “I don’t believe the media’s been fair to him… he hasn’t broken any laws!”

3:10 - Drew says T.O. isn’t talking to the media because the media has been unfair to him. He’s still yelling. I wonder how this guy has sex. “He didn’t mean to offend anybody at any time.”

3:11 - John Smallwood asks a great question — essentially, “since T.O. talked to ESPN, is ESPN responsible?” and Rosenhaus says “Next question.” For the fourth straight time.

3:12 - “He will be dominant! … Do not write him off!” Drew says: “I love this man.” Apparently the media has been unfair to him as well!

3:13 - “Absolutely. Terrell Owens is here on his own volition! These are his words! I had nothing to do with it!” And another “next question.” (And two more.) Drew finally gives a response that’s not yelling, and it’s ‘cuz he’s talking about legal terms.

3:14 - This is great. You know how in movies the reporters all yell questions all over each other and you can barely hear anything? And, like, that never happens in real life? Well, this is like a movie. Oh, and Drew just gave another “next question.”

3:15 - “Why should the Eagles feel any differently about Terrell if he comes back?” “I will not get into that.” Les Bowen asks a question about the grievance and he won’t talk about it. Keep asking legal questions, guys, T.O.’s agent isn’t yelling when you ask them!

3:16 - “He wants to play football for the Philadelphia Eagles.” And that conference is over. The last thing you hear is someone yelling “Drew, will you go live on WIP right now?” T.O., his bodyguard and his agent walks away.

3:17 - I counted eight “next questions” and four “I won’t answer thats.” Barkann gives the same instant analysis I do, that T.O.’s statement was excellent and Rosenhaus blew it by yelling and yelling.

3:18 - Neil Hartman gives the same instant analysis, and if some dude on the internet, Hartmann and Barkann agree, then that’s, like, a consensus.

3:19 - Neil Hartmann is analyzing Terrell Owens’ wink.

3:20 - Okay, now we’re getting some context. But youse all know it, right? T.O. didn’t read the entire apology that he was supposed to, and SportsNet puts the missing copy up on the screen, and that’s what got him in more trouble. Today, he apologized to McNabb and Lurie and Joe Banner and Andy Reid and pretty much everyone except Chuck Bednarik.

3:21 - Bob Brookover form the Inky’s now on. That’s Bob Brookover? Wait, are you sure, Comcast SportsNet? That’s totally not who I thought Brookover was. I’m so confused. Is there a Bob Brookover doppleganger? Anyway, this Brookover impersonator says that T.O.’s not coming back.

3:25 - Alright, Comcast SportsNet is doing a musical retrospective on T.O.’s time in Philadelphia. I am so done.

3:26 - An IM: “T.O. should sue Rosenhaus for legal malpractice.” I agree. Deadspin: “Rosenhaus couldn’t have destroyed T.O.’s chances of playing in Philadelphia any further than if he had accused Andy Reid of being a member of NAMBLA.” I think what Rosenhaus did was worse.

Earlier today: Welcome to OwensWatch
Yesterday: Like the sands of an hourglass
Sept. 7: Get yo popcorn ready!