Asleep at the presses

What the eff, Daily News? Two cheerleaders have lesbian sex in a bathroom stall, and the best headline you guys could come up with was “Witnesses: Cheerleaders had sex in bathroom stall”? For shame! This is what we — the citizens of Philadelphia — depend on you for: witty headlines for ridiculous news events.

Just look at what some other papers and websites did:

• Cheerleaders arrested after toilet sex, Ananova
• 2 busted, pompons confiscated, The Arizona Republic
• 
  Give me an A-R- R-E-S-T, The Australian
• Be Aggressive! B-e Aggressive!, The Seattle Post-Intelligencer
• Cheerleaders having lesbian sex? Now that’s news!, AfterEllen.com
• Now we know why the WNBA doesn’t have cheerleaders, Deadspin.com
• Panthers’ cheerleaders not exactly full of cheer, The Indianapolis Star
• Sex in bar angers patrons!, The Hindustan Times

The Hindustan Times had a better headline than you guys. The Hindustan Times! Is there a secret pun I’m missing here? I know The T.O. Show was big news for you sports guys yesterday, but, hey, give one of those headline gurus with beards a chance to write something good next time.

On a side note, does anyone find it interesting that Renee Thomas looks better in her mugshot than she does in her official team photo?