Quickies: What a Comcastic day!

• The New York Times takes NJ Transit to SEPTA to Philly — remember, this was done before the strike — and writes about how Comcast thinks the Wireless Philadelphia plan will fail. Hey, Comcast got us to pay $150 a month for cable and internet, do you want to doubt them? [NYT]

• The Inky is letting people vent about the strike online. Number of Rosa Parks references: 1, so far. No, that’s not a joke. [Early Word]

• Since when does ex-Daily News scribe and current DN freelancer Bill Fleischman write for the official Philadelphia Flyers website? [PhiladelphiaFlyers.com]

• And that lesbian minister in Germantown is no longer a minister. Still a lesbian, though. [Inky]

• Oh, and Rick Mariano has the frontman of Yes backing him up. [DN]

Daytime savings time

Gather round the fire, kiddies, and I’ll read some of the story to youse:

His news program “Geraldo at Large” debuts today (11 p.m., Channel 29), and the star attraction describes it as an action-oriented half-hour similar to the weekend program he was doing at Fox News Channel.

Oh boy! Geraldo’s even got that prime daytime time slot, 11 p.m.

Geraldo’s back on daytime TV [DN]

Week 8: T. Oh, Andy, you’ve forgotten how to coach

Down 14. Nine minutes left. Fourth and six. Sure, own 37, but, hey, there’s nine minutes left. What’s the worst that’s going to happen if you miss it? The Broncos are going to score a touchdown? You lose the game?

Well, if you punt, you lose the game anyway. You’ve given up. And that’s what Andy Reid did yesterday in the Eagles’ most pathetic performance since, oh, the Dallas game the week before the bye.

After an early game where the late Wellington Mara set a world record by being mentioned every three seconds, the Eagles came out in the late game and gave up 28 points, with Donovan McNabb missing his first 12 passes.

The Broncos then did their best to throw the game away, letting Terrell Owens have a leisurely stroll down the length of the field for a touchdown and leaving everybody else so open even McNabb couldn’t throw it at their feet every play.

But a McNabb interception — helped out with some lazy receiving by Reggie Brown — some shoddy tackling by the defense, and it put the Eagles in a perfect position to give up by punting with nine minutes left.

And, who woulda thunk it, the Broncos scored a touchdown anyway.

On the plus side, at least Jose Cortez didn’t blow the game. Phew.

Rocky horror [Inky]

Inquirer answers questions of morons

Coming next week: Just how did Noah get all those animals on the Ark?

Some ask: Where did Jesus get his DNA? [Inky]

The real reason for the SEPTA strike

SEPTA spokesman Richard Maloney?

He said that the union had rejected a handful of work rules, including one that prohibited “bus drivers from talking on their cell phones while they were driving or running red lights.”

Yes, because if drivers aren’t allowed to talk on their cell phones while running red lights, the terrorists have won.

No happy Halloween for transit commuters [DN]

Robber strikes crap mall

Over the weekend, a robber struck Franklin Mills in a jewelry heist for the fourth time. The man hangs out in the mall, forces a cart open after the mall closes, then hightails it out of Mills before the late night security guard can walk by without seeing him.

Oh, and he also wears a bright orange shirt that says “guilty” on it, clearly the choice of all robbers.

So far, the burglar has stolen about $62,500 worth of merchandise. Police said that the man appears to be between his late 30s and early 40s.

Are you thinking the same thing I’m thinking? Right. Franklin Mills sells jewelry? Jewelry worth stealing?

Bold Burglar Hits Same Jewelry Kiosk 4 Times In 1 Year [NBC 10]

Breaking: Pumpkin sales to spike after Halloween?

From KYW 1060:

Area produce dealers say there has been a decline in pumpkin sales, so you can have your pick.

Jesus Christ, people, these pumpkin farmers have families! Buy a pumpkin before they’re out on the street!

Or maybe sales are going to hit record highs starting Nov. 1.

Pumpkin Dealers Lament Current Overstocks [KYW 1060]
Photo by mrbill via Flickr

Trenton makes, Bush takes

Breaking! Bush goes crazy and nominates some dude who grew up in Trenton to the Supreme Court.

But, hey, at least he’s got a nickname:

So consistently conservative, Alito has been dubbed “Scalito” or “Scalia-lite” by some lawyers.

Eh, I dunno if Conservatives are going to buy that he is conservative enough. Maybe he needs a little more obvious nickname, you know? Like “Gets really squeamish when two guys fuck.”

Update: Ho ho! Alito begins his speech with something like “The Supreme Court is a body I’ve respected for a long time.” But is he a good bowler?

Bush Names Alito As Supreme Court Nominee [KYW 1060]

The greatest Mischief Night prank of all time

Oh, Philly, a transit system that goes down just three streets wasn’t good enough, was it? Now you have to have a transit system that goes down zero streets.

Strike at midnight. Unless they resolve it. But we all know how likely that is.

Philly Future has some tips on how to get around the lack of transit. But, you know, if the only transit you take is the Cornwells Heights shuttle bus, that’s still running. And that’s free, too!

Five Things I Learned This Week

Here at Philadelphia Will Do, it’s just one big fun happy learning experience. Here’s the Top 5 things youse learned this week while wasting your time at work:

1. One Penn student wants to get himself (and several others) killed.
2. Stephen A. Smith hates player-coach relationships. Quite Frankly, that’s all you need to know.
3. A singing parrot upset the head of the Pennsylvania senate. No jokes were contained in the previous sentence.
4. Those people on Barsky just love their Byko juice.
5. Conservatives and hipsters rejoice: you’ve found common ground.

Have a good weekend! Here’s a cute little puppy.