Medical masturbation

As part of a continuing effort to be as vulgar as possible today, I bring you the tale of the New Jersey mother arrested for allegedly running a brothel.

Meryl James is a 50-year-old single mother of three living in (where else) Princeton. She’s also a minister. Who knew?

She offers Swedish massage and spiritual therapy, and is due to appear in court tomorrow on charges that she masturbated or performed oral sex on her clients for 100 bucks a pop. Which means that, if true, not only is she an old hooker, she’s an old, expensive hooker.

KYW 3 interviewed her friday, but since nobody watches Channel 3 I wasn’t aware of this until today:

James claims she did not enjoy it, but masturbated two of her clients for medical purposes.

“It’s kind of distasteful to me and I only did it like once or twice and I had to wear the glove and everything,” she said. “I did that I just said I didn’t want to do that anymore.”

And I had to wear the glove and everything! Funny, that’s what my ex-girlfriend said.*

NJ Mom Accused Of Running Brothel Speaks Out [KYW 3]

*Editor’s Note: I’m not quite sure what this joke means. Or if it’s even a joke.