You make the call: Penn’s school newspaper, or The Onion

Look at that kid in the photo to the left. Done looking? Okay, good. He looks pretty damned excited, doesn’t he? Indeed. What is he looking at that’s so special?

Oh, he’s waiting to meet Jared from Subway.

And, naturally, he’s a Penn student.

Subway’s svelte spokesman Jared made a stop to the Subway on Penn’s campus yesterday, apparently attracting enough attention to deserve the headline “Frenzied fans mob Subway spokesman.” I don’t know who the kid who wrote this story is, but I think he has a future as a journalist, or possibly a comedy writer:

College freshman Jeremy Baron knew he was going to meet famous people when he got to Penn, and yesterday his dreams came true.

“When I knew I was coming to the University of Pennsylvania, I definitely knew I was going to meet some pretty famous and amazing people, but I never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would meet Jared Fogel from Subway,” Baron said.

No, it gets better.

College freshman Jordan Cohen, who confessed that he also used to be a “porker,” brought a camera to the event to capture the moment. In his eagerness, he accidentally photographed a Fogel look-alike.

I know The Daily Pennsylvanian usually publishes its joke issue on a day other than April 1 to try to fool people (it usually works), but I don’t know if they’d move it all the way up to Sept. 8. That’d be quite a ruse, though.

Anyway, it’s nice to see some random dude who lost 200 pounds eating sandwiches get the kind of admiration usually reserved for the pope.

Frenzied fans mob Subway spokesman [DP]
Jared Fogle [Wikipedia]